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June 07, 2006


Jeanne Loehnis


My personal fear story came with baby #2. I wasn't thinking or feeling anything at the time of #1. Life was pretty crazy and scary because of the addiction issues we faced. I wasn't happy to be pregnant but never felt I had choice so #1 just came .... Now I loved that little boy!!!! Such joy and delight. A true light. Pregnancy #2 was also not wanted but again ... choice wasn't present in the religion of my youth.

At delivery time, I just remember thinking "Oh crap! I will go home with another person to care for! I'm not ready to share my love with yet another one! NOooo!!!"

But of course, that is now history and both boys brought much joy -- and, at 22 and 24 (almost) -- they still sometimes do. Wouldn't trade them for anything! But I do think, if we were told up front just what we were getting into, we might never do it!!!!


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