In Love With Darkness

I love the dark. Love, love, LOVE it. Appropriately then, the Winter Solstice is my absolute favorite day of the year. 

It was not always so. In my more fundamentalist Christian days I believed that truly it was the Light that was to conquer the darkness, and that darkness was bad and to be avoided at all costs.  Especially the darkness within. I am pleased to report with a deep sigh of gratitude that these days I welcome the darkness - especially the darkness within. I find such beauty and solace in that quiet, still place in my belly.

An example: For Thanksgiving, we drove out to Colorado to visit my brother and his new wife in the Denver area. My parents and sisters and their families also made the 12+ hour trip out. My favorite part of the whole trip was driving home in the dark. At the last minute we decided not to sleep over on Friday evening and begin the 13.5 hour drive at the crack of dawn. Instead, we packed up and headed out around 9:00 Friday evening, and figured we be home around 11:00 A.M. I was driver #1. While Richard and Sammy slept, I listened to two self-compiled CDs of music - one called STORY, one called ACHE.  And I fell in love over and over again. With the songs' characters, with the wondrous ways words and melody find and dance with one another, with the stars, even with the other late-night drivers. I fell in love even more deeply with this part of me that so treasures darkness and story and the ways they are ever interwoven.  Ahhh.  I believe this is why the word "luscious" exists. 

(The side story is this luscious dark-night drive would be AFTER the good yet wearisome family time and BEFORE Richard began manifesting the stomach bug my niece was first struck with en route to the Denver Children's Museum. Ugh. Obviously, I ended up driving the whole crazy way home.)

Five years ago now, Richard and I hosted our first Dark Party. We were so inspired, the next year we made a Christmas/Winter Solstice CD called Behold and wrote about it in the liner notes. An excerpt:

Last year, we began a new family tradition. At the Winter Solstice, the first day of winter and the darkest night of the year, we hosted a Dark Party. We invited friends to dress in black and bring dark colored food for a potluck. After the blackberries, deep dark soups, and "Edgar Allen Bean Dip" we sat in a circle, sharing our stories and witnessing for one another the presence of God in our dark places. At the end of the night, some chose to light a candle to symbolize a welcome of the returning sun, others held an unlit candle, honoring the presence of God in night.

(If you're interested you can view lyrics and listen to song snippets from Behold. Click here.)

This year's celebrations will be a bit different: on the solstice, I'll be doing a contemplative concert and ritual in Des Moines, and the Dark Party will happen nine days after solstice, and just the women of Spirations are invited.

Yesterday, I learned about another winter holiday celebration: Night of the Mothers! An ancient English holy day, it's celebrated the day before Christmas. Though legend holds Night of the Mothers was originally celebrated the day before solstice.  After the Church declared Christmas would be celebrated on December 25th, the Night of the Mothers date was also shifted.  Read about it here, here, here, and here. I particularly like the notion that dreams that occur on Night of the Mothers hold special meaning for the year to come.  Oh, I'm delighted by this new-to-me holy day so much I could just squeal!  In fact, so inspired was I yesterday that I wrote a new chant-like song on the spot. You can download that PDF here: Download pdf_night_of_the_mothers.pdf.

Well, there's a rumbly in my tumbly. Must follow that invitation.

But before I go, do share!

What does this holiday season mean for you?
What Holy Days do you intentionally celebrate - and intentionally NOT celebrate?
How does the idea of nourishing darkness strike you?
Shall we all have a virtual Dark Party?!

I can't wait to hear.

Comments

[Heather Michele]

One of the last times G and I spoke coherently, it was about the Dark Party we attended at your home on the Mississippi in 2003. She lovingly called it "sacred" and "painfully beautiful;" something she had pondered often in the years since. She died remembering such times of holiness.

And now, in all of these sacred, painful, and beautiful moments this year, I intentionally find time to be still, to be quiet, to sit in the darkness, and breathe. Thank you for being with me in these breaths. It is healing, it is fertile, it is life-giving, life-repairing, life-preparing time! And I look forward to celebrating the Holy Days of darkness (and light) with you and yours for years to come! -HMO.

[Bette Wappner]

I too use to look at darkness as bad, but then there are different kind of darknesses. To me, and now the older I get, the kind of darkness that I seek, and what I am learning of from you, Christine, and in some books lately, is the darkness of God's peace, stillness, sacred and holiness. I am in the midst of putting together a place of solace in my art studio; a place where I can listen to God's voice and to pray and hopefully experience peaceful darkness.

Your "Behold" cd is wonderful! I also love the lyrics to your new chant and can't wait to hear it to music. I look forward to going to the links you gave on Night of the Mothers. I would very much love for us to have a Virtual Dark Party! Maybe we could open up a Yahoo Group just for this occasion and we could all interact in one place? Just a thought.
Peace and Hugs,
Bette.

[cathleenmedina]

Oh dear Winter Solstice Goddess! It has been your words and music that have invited me to embrace the darkness as a time of wonder, waiting, even growth. A Virtual Dark Party is intriguing - let's explore that.
This year I am planning the 3rd Annual Winter Solstice Bonfire near the barn. Big bonfire, s'mores, wassail and hot chocolate, hay bails to sit on, luminarias to light the way. I love being outdoors at that time. I wonder if a virtual bonfire is possible....?
Leaning into Advent and darkness, Cathleen

[Story Midwife]

Hello Sweet Heather Michele.
Yes, I thought of this night, too, as I wrote. It was one the first time I saw G open, open, open to softness. Bless her now wide-open self. We simply must find a way to be together this Dark Season. Sammy has his first ever Christmas concert on Monday. He wanted me to invite you. Wanna come?? :-)

Oh, Bette - your new stuido space sounds so inviting. What will you place there? How will you pray and BE there? Will it be a place for you alone, or will you invite others to pray and be and listen there with you?

Cathleen - Your Solstice Bonfire! Wahoo! How deeply soul-nourishing. SO wish I was not a day's drive away.

So what about a virtual Dark Party? I like the idea of a hosted chat room. I must confess I have no idea how that works. Or we could do a conference call. I know of a company that offers this for free or next to nothing.

What if anyone who was interested in a Virtual Dark Party chose one poem and one song and sent them to the guest list in advance? Then each "attendee" could light a candle in their own space, listen to each song, read each poem, and share how that is stirring in them, prodding them, awakening them, etc.

What if???

[Sacred Art of Living]

A virtual dark party is a beautiful idea. I am going to be up in beautiful British Columbia with my beloved for Winter Solstice (and Christmas) with limited dial-up internet so I won't be able to chat that day, but love the idea of sharing a song and poem. Thanks Trish for your always beautiful words and spirit.

[Heather Michele]

Heck Yes! Of course! Tell Sammy-boy I will be there on Monday! Cannot wait for a quick little vacation to Iowa! Much, Much Love! -HMO.

[Bette Wappner]

I really like the idea of sharing our feelings from reading others' poems and songs!

If you like the idea of opening up an interactive group list, I know how to do it at Yahoo Groups. Its very easy. Isn't not a real-time text chat like instant messaging, but people can post and reply at their convenience. The group can be set to public or private membership and each member can set the postings to come directly to their computer rather than having to go to the group's homepage at Yahoo if they desire, or they can get one daily digest of posts sent to their computer once a day. Alot of choices. I'll set it up if you want. It can be for just this winter season or longer or whatever you want. Its just nice to bring people together under one roof. Just a thought, don't feel obligated. Someone else might have a greater idea :))))

Peace and Hugs,
Bette.

[Bette Wappner]

Trish, my prayer space will be part of my art studio and a quiet place for me to be, but if you visit, we will sit side by side :)

I will sit on a low-sitting stool atop deeply textured woven rag cinder-gray-brown colored floor rugs representing Mother Earth. These rugs were crafted by Indian women.

I haven't decided whether I will have a deep-green colored throw blanket to represent magical moss that I love so :) to wrap or cover myself in while I meditate or pray, or a black blanket to be enveloped in God's darkness. Maybe both depending on my mood.

I will be facing a wooden bookshelf with candles, incense, a crystal cross, holey stones, shells, acorns, my faves :)

oh....and a space heater! my studio is in our basement. hey...perhaps the basement represents my reliquary-belly filled with God :))) aha!!!

Blessings,
Bette.

[Story Midwife]

Bette,
I would LOVE it if you'd set up a Virtual Dark Party spot! I like that it's not real-time so folks can visit and contribute whenever suits them. What (if anything) do you need from me?

Thank you!

[Bette Wappner]

Trish, forgive me for not getting back with you on how to put up a Yahoo Group. They make the process easy to set up. It would be better if you set it up so you would be the facilitator and have access to the maintenence. If you still want to do it I would participate in the Dark Party with you :)
Hubby is coming home today after being gone since Nov. 1st so I've been busy and forgot to get back with you. 'course I realize that if you needed my assistance, you would have bugged me about it :) Sounds like you've been tied up too....in PINK carpet of all things!